What to do about America's civility crisis
Three forgotten truths about civility, plus, today is the LAST day to buy "The Soul of Civility" for $2.99!
Gracious reader,
In the wake of the assassination attempt of former President Donald Trump— which left both the shooter and one other person dead, and another in critical condition— we’re confronted with the most important question of our day: how might we peacefully co-exist across deep differences?
For those of you who are new here, my name is Alexandra Hudson, and I’m passionate about the way that ideas and storytelling can change people’s lives.
I wrote my book, The Soul of Civility: Timeless Principles to Heal Society and Ourselves (St. Martin’s Press), to be an antidote to these divided and dehumanizing days we find ourselves in. The Soul of Civility is about how we can flourish even when we vehemently disagree, and amid the 2024 election cycle, I hope it can help you and your community navigate these dark and divided days we find ourselves in.
In that spirit, I encourage you to take advantage of the sale that Amazon has on my book right now—today is the final day to get the e book for just $2.99!
It’s encouraging that leaders across the political spectrum have condemned the instance of political violence that the world witnessed this past weekend.
An assassination attempt— as well as other forms of intolerance that are all too common today—is a salient reminder of the challenge inherent to doing life with others, especially those with whom we disagree.
As many of us grapple with the meaning of the recent violence, we must remember three truths.
Civility is more than mere politeness. A central argument I make in The Soul of Civility is there is an essential difference between civility and politeness. Today, too often people conflate these two ideas. They think the stakes are too high to be decent, kind and respectful toward people with whom they disagree. Though the motives of the would-be assassin are still unclear, the assassination attempt is still clearly an expression of our culture of dehumanization. In this era of dehumanization, we need civility—not mere politeness. Politeness is technique, manners, etiquette. Civility is a disposition of the heart that truly respects others by their irreducible moral worth of the others—even those we disagree with or hold views we despise. The test of civility is how we treat people who are different from us. Tolerance requires a basic respect of others even if we are appalled by their words, beliefs, or conduct. Why? Because of our shared status as citizens in a democracy and, more fundamentally, because of our shared status as members of the human community. Civility is more than the manners and etiquette and decorum of mere politeness— that will never be enough to help us navigate the challenges of our day. Civility is the duty and conduct of citizenship, as its etymology — civitas— connotes. It promotes tolerance and respect across differences, direly needed today in our own era of political violence, because it forces us to see the humanity and dignity of our fellow persons and citizens. It challenges us to see that we are more like than unlike — and alike in the ways that matter most. Democracy is premised on the idea that we won’t agree with everyone on everything. Civility gives us a way to navigate those differences amicably. Civility demands action in some instances — truth-telling and engaging in robust debate are at times a duty of citizenship. But it also takes certain actions off the table— for example, violence toward others that dehumanizes and degrades them.
The challenges to civility are timeless. As long as we’ve been around as a species, we’ve been trying to do this thing called peaceful coexistence. And as long as we’ve been around, it’s been hard. This is because the root cause of incivility — inordinate human self-love — is part of the human personality that we all share, and is a constant threat to the human social project. Especially after the violence the world witnessed today, it’s easy to feel like ours is the most uncivil moment. In reality, incivility is nothing new. Consider a once famous murder in Washington—when report Charles Kincade murdered former congressman William Taulbee on the steps of Congress. Not to mention the revolutionary and civil war, and religious and racial violence our country has endured. History is a caution and comfort to us. Things have been bad before, which is a comfort to us now, reminding us that ours is not the most uncivil era. It’s also a caution: they’ve been bad before, and they can get bad once again.
Promoting a culture of civility starts with us. Civilization, and democracy, are fragile, and we each have a responsibility to elevate our civic culture and promote tolerance across differences. This isn’t a duty we can abdicate to our public leaders. Democratic governments in particular depend upon most individuals choosing to follow the law, respect their fellow citizens, and act for the common good. Promoting a culture of tolerance and civility begins when we recognize that differences are not problems to be fixed, but resources to be mined. It begins with each of us — leaders and citizens alike – choosing to recover an appreciation of the gift of being human, even in those with whom we disagree. Only by constantly keeping in mind the irreducible dignity of our fellow persons and citizens — in reclaiming civility — will we be able to navigate the fraught but necessary conversations in the days to come.
With half the globe going to the polls this year, this is a historic high for democracy. Yet, as I've learned while on my book tour to forty-five cities and five countries—including talks given to the Canadian Parliament and the UK House of Lords—democracies around the globe are facing the same destabilizing challenges that we are here in the United States: hyper-partisanship, division, and the growing and present threat of political violence.
My book doesn’t have all the answers—not even close! But I do hope it helps us refine the questions we need to be asking ourselves and our public leaders in this divided season. I’d be thrilled if you might consider reading my book—the product of a lifetime of thought and a decade of research—and sharing it with your community.
I hope that it can encourage and support you now and in the days to come as we try to forge a new era of national unity in this nation.
Looking ahead:
August 6 - National Conference of State Legislatures, Louisville, KY
Our baby boy is set to arrive somewhere around Sept 15th, so I am planning to take some time off—but have no fear. I’ve lined up some excellent writers to help infuse your life with beauty, goodness, and truth—and to help you think more clearly about our day by reviving the wisdom of the past!
November 14- Berry College, Mt. Berry, GA
November 19- Hillsdale College, Hillsdale, MI
In the news:
Thanks so much to ABC Channel6, WRTV and ABC for the conversation about how civility and basic respect for personhood are the antidotes to our crisis of division — recorded from my front porch! Click here to watch!
How to Be a Better Human Podcast: I loved talking with Chris Duffy on his excellent TED podcast about How to be civil even if you disagree (w/ Alexandra Hudson)
Check out my piece in TIME Magazine—out tomorrow morning!— exploring what history teaches us about the power of civility today.
Thank you for being part of our Civic Renaissance community!
Your message is wonderful and much needed in these times! I belong to a group, Braver Angel's, who teach & practice civility, encouraging a bipartisan membership to discuss a variety of topics --often, including topics on which we most often are polarized. It is an incredible group and between you & Braver Angel's, I feel hopeful about the PEOPLE being able to find common ground and a return to civility in our beloved country. Thank you!
I think a way to teach civility to those who want to know is imperative. Even tho Alexandra's book is excellent, I would think some type of workshop or classroom teaching package that walks people through how to actually practice civility would be help greatly in the civility renaissance movement.