Thank you! On generosity, gratitude, and hospitality.

The unity of giving, receiving, gratitude, and hospitality.

Nov 28, 2024

Gracious reader,

Happy American Thanksgiving!

As a California native who grew up in Canada, I’ve enjoyed celebrating both Canadian and American Thanksgivings my whole life. One can never have too much gratitude!

Here are a few things I’m thankful for right now:

The health and well-being of my family and loved ones
Our newest addition, our Sebastian John, or baby “Bash” as we call him
That we are making progress on our house restoration project, and may even be home for Christmas (!)
That my book, The Soul of Civility, made it into the hands of over 13k people across the world in the year since its release—in large part thanks to readers such as you.
For each of you for reading this right now, that you’re here, curious, and eager to heal our divides by reviving the wisdom of the past to help us lead better lives—the mission of Civic Renaissance.

In short, thank you!

Gratitude and Hospitality

While reading my friend Donald Robertson’s new book, How to Think Like Socrates, last week, I was struck by the timely symbolism of a sculpture that Socrates—who came from a family of sculptors and who was himself one—was working on.

The sculpture was of the Three Graces, or daughters of Zeus from Greek mythology. The Greek writer Hesiod tells us their names are Aglaea, or "Shining," Euphrosyne, or "Joy," and Thalia, or "Blooming." In Greek mythology, the Graces are often present, attending or arranging feasts of celebration, inextricably linking grace and gratitude with hospitality.

undefined — Three Graces by Antonio Canova

In artistic history, the Three Graces are depicted as dancing in a circle, holding hands. The first Grace embodies the giver of grace, the second the receiver of grace. The third represents the unity of the giver and the receiver, as they are both receiving and giving grace. These goddesses bestow graces freely and cheerfully, bestow favor and blessings upon others, revealing the unity in giving and receiving. Both are gifts that mutually bless giver and receiver.

*Primavera* by Botticelli, It has been described as "one of the most written about, and most controversial paintings in the world", and also "one of the most popular paintings in Western art".

The dance the Graces represents the journey of the gift of grace, which passes from hand to hand and returns to the giver. Given that it is Thanksgiving, I love the way that the Three Graces embody the unity of giving and receiving; the unity of the guest-host relationship.

To give is to receive, to receive is to gift.

The Unity of Giving, Receiving, Gratitude, and Hospitality

I love the way etymology tells a story about the links between words and concepts. For example, related to the unity of giving and receiving, and the unity of the guest-host relationship, the Latin roots hospes and gen are illuminating.

The Latin hospes means guest, host, and stranger. In Old French, hoste meant both guest and host: a relationship in which both participants are united by mutual vulnerability. In the same way that it is vulnerable to be a guest—to be at the mercy of someone else’s kindness—it is equally vulnerable to be a host.

The risks are equally present to both guest and host in hospitality: Hospes is the root of the word hospitality, but also of our word hostility, an emotion bred from dysfunctional guest-host relationships—and when the stranger becomes our enemy rather than our friend.

So are the rewards.

Gratitude and hospitality are dancing partners. The more one gives thanks, the more hospitable one becomes—and the more hospitable one is, often the more grateful they are.

Gratitude and hospitality are both generative, a word that—like generosity—derives from the Latin root gen, or birth. Gratitude and hospitality are generative because they are acts that, in themselves, create new acts of grace, generosity, gratitude, and hospitality in turn.

Hospitality is a form of generative generosity. When we receive hospitality, we desire to show it to others. The Latin word hospes is the root for our words guest, host, hospitality, hostility, as we’ve learned. It is also the root of our modern word hospital. Hospitality, both practical and emotional, transforms our homes and our lives into hospitals of the social spirit.

Our homes can be hospitals for our social fabric, repairing and healing our body politic bit by bit. We can reclaim the power of hospitality, ordinary yet profound, and know that we are transforming our personal spheres into places of spiritual, emotional, and relational healing.

As you gather with loved ones this Thanksgiving, whether you are hosting or guesting, giving or receiving, remember the image of the Graces, and the unity of grace, generosity, gratitude, and hospitality that they represent. To give and receive, to show gratitude and receive it, to be a guest and a host—all are gifts in their own way to be enjoyed and relished in equal measure.

I’m thankful for you.
Lexi

P.S. If you find yourself Christmas gift shopping today, The Soul of Civility is on Black Friday sale! Enjoy it half price this weekend only. I joke that it’s the perfect Christmas gift for your best friend, or your worst enemy—and in this climate, sometimes that is one and the same person!

Buy Here

Looking ahead:

January 23, 2025- I am thrilled to announce that I will be speaking at Yale Law School this coming January, invited by the Crossing Divides Program, part of the Tsai Leadership Program, which is dedicated to building strong bridges across our differences.
January 23, 2025- Buckley Institute Dinner Seminar at Yale
February 27, 2025- Georgia Center for Nursing Excellence
April 24- Kennesaw State University

Thank you for being part of our Civic Renaissance community!

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