My Date with Whimsy

How to Stage a Quiet Rebellion Against the Cult of Efficiency

Mar 05, 2025

Gracious reader,

Earlier this February, I had the pleasure of speaking at Hillsdale College, at the kind invitation of President Larry Arnn. I was so grateful to have my three children join me on this trip (and our youngest, Bash, also accompanied me on my travels to Yale and Atlanta—quite the little traveler!). You can read more about my visit to Hillsdale here.

Every inspiring speaking trip, such as this one, leaves me buzzing with ideas and a desire to pursue more. But upon returning to our home—especially to daily life with my three children—I’m reminded of how crucial it is to balance pursuing ambitions with savoring everyday moments.

The essay below reflects these musings, and I hope it will inspire you to both slow down and pursue what is truly important to you.

P.S. If you're local to Indianapolis, I’d love to invite you to join me on March 20 for my talk at the Contemporary Club of Indianapolis dinner event. Find out more here.

undefined — Auguste Renoir - Dance at Le Moulin de la Galette

We should consider every day lost on which we have not danced at least once. And we should call every truth false which was not accompanied by at least one laugh.

—Friedrich Nietzsche, “Thus Spoke Zarathustra,” chapter 56 (Old and new tables), number 23.

Whimsy

I see her unbuckle her seatbelt and slowly—so, so very slowly—move from her car seat out of the car. She pauses because something has caught her eye on the car’s floor. Then, sitting with her feet dangling outside of the vehicle, she pauses again: she sees something amiss with her Minnie Mouse shoe’s Velcro strap, which she contemplatively rectifies. She had a primary and original goal: exiting the vehicle.

But, rather revolutionarily for our current cult of efficiency, her method of achieving that goal was anything but direct.

As this scene with my three-year-old daughter unfolds before my eyes, I resist the urge to rush her.

Part of me yearns to urge her: “Let’s go, my love.” We were running late for an appointment, and it seemed like we didn’t have the time for anything but moving directly from point A to point B.

But another part of me revels in seeing her so carefree, so guileless, just taking the world as it comes, following what catches her eye. In joy-filled awe, I observe her as she follows her curiosity, utterly uninhibited by the very external pressures and proprieties that burden me. I am hesitant to usher her prematurely into the cult of efficiency that is our modern world.

I remember reading an article about the harm of perpetually “hurrying” children, causing anxiety and a series of other maladies of the mind and soul.

Fear of causing irrevocable moral injury to our children is a powerful motivator to not rush my children. I don’t want to initiate them into the cult of efficiency that is our modern world too early—or ever.

Somewhere along the way as we grow up—I can’t quite point to when—the inefficiencies in our lives and practices are whittled away, little by little.

Slowly, we lose our whimsy, our curiosity, our non-utilitarian joys and interests. They lose out to productivity, utility, and efficiency.

In this season of life, I’m choosing to get the whimsy back.

And I’m letting my children lead the way.

I want them to re-teach me how to play.

Play

Here are a few reasons why.

Doing things for their own sake cultivates joy and presence, both of which are essential for the life well-lived.

And many worthwhile things in life are not efficient. I’m thinking of creativity, conversation, learning, and other joy-led activities. Long, meandering conversations with friends or loved ones, where the goal isn't to get from one topic to another quickly, can be slow and inefficient, but they're essential for building deep relationships and emotional connections. The time spent in a riveting novel might not render your company’s bottom line higher, but is important to leaving your soul nourished. A leisurely promenade might not be taking you to run an errand, but the journey is the destination.

“Did anyone see the sunrise?” said my four-year-old son, Percival, as he stumbled out of bed at around 7 am this morning.

“It’s beautiful this morning,” he continued.

“CLOUDS!!” - a common exclamation I hear from my daughter whenever she steps outside and sees a bundle of fluffy cotton candy clouds (as we call them) in the sky.

I so adore their attention to the things we pass by in our everyday, so focused on getting from point A to point B as efficiently as possible.

I’m choosing to be a little less efficient in the next few months and a little more playful and whimsical.

I hope you’ll join me.

March 20, 2025- Contemporary Club of Indianapolis
April 24, 2025- Kennesaw State University
April 30, 2025- Community Book Talk at Hussey-Mayfield Library
September 26- 27, 2025- Civility Summit

Recent speaking appearance:

Georgia Center for Nursing Excellence 2025 Gala, Atlanta, Georgia

In the news:

Paideia, Humanitas, Civility and Education- I was honored to be invited to write this essay for The Ronald Reagan Center on Civility and Democracy. In a time often marked by division and discord, reflecting on the relationship between civility and education offers both wisdom and hope.
Thanks to Timothy Donahue of Oakland University for this thoughtful Public Books review of The Soul of Civility! He highlights a key argument: civility isn’t mere politeness—it’s essential for real social progress. Read here!
I had a great time joining Josh on the Good Morning Liberty podcast! We discussed historical lessons on civility, focusing on how John Adams and Thomas Jefferson overcame deep political divides to restore their friendship. Their story is a powerful reminder that mutual respect can heal even the deepest rifts. The episode is now live—tune in and let me know your thoughts!
It’s Time for a New Era of Christian Civility- read my latest piece for Christianity Today!
Thanks so much to MSNBC for hosting a segment about The Soul of Civility. Watch here!
Discussing NOT talking about politics on FOX 59's In Focus with Dan Spehler
Great to join NTD News to discuss how to navigate the holiday season without straining, ruining, or losing your relationships.
Civility, manners, and hospitality in the Odyssey- guest post for Classical Pursuits
Washington Post: Want to save your friendships? Take a page from the Founding Fathers.