Democracy depends on “constant dining with the opposition”
Reflections on the London book tour, and looking ahead to book events in Paris
Gracious reader,
Our family is just taking a rest by the sea on the English Coast in England with the kids after wonderful week in London — four events in three days last week!
I was delighted that The Soul of Civility was very well received by UK audiences. Every evening was packed, with standing room only!
Here are a few highlights from this past week’s London book tour along with a taste of our wide-ranging and scintillating conversations.
The London tour kicked off on Monday, April 15th, with a conversation at the English House of Lords— which is an appointed upper house, not elected. We were joined by a dozen or so members of the House of Lords, who are called Life Peers, along with several Members of Parliament (MPs) who came by for the conversation, before they had to slip out for a vote on the floor of the House of Commons.
Here’s a video that captures most of the dialogue at Their Lordships House (a funny title, I know, but the proper one!) :
Daniel Hannan, my gracious host for the conversation, opened the dialogue with a practical question: What can Life Peers do to promote civility?
In response to Dan’s question, I shared a quote from The Right Honourable Sir William Harcourt, who wrote that a functioning polis depends on “constant dining with the opposition.”
What can Life Peers or any politician, or any citizen do to allow our polis to work? We need to sit down and break bread with those with whom we disagree. It’s hard to hate someone you’ve shared a meal with, done life with, or shared friendship with. And today, sadly, in our high stakes political arena, we’ve lost the concept of “civic friendship.”
Culture wars
Issues related to transgender rights are a very hot topic in England, so this came up in every book event this week. The conversations came on the heels of a new independent report — called the Cass Report— submitted by a universally respected expert that found that the UK’s approach to gender affirmative care has been largely a disservice to children and the trans community.
The problem is, people on both sides of the issue have been vilified; the wounds are deep.
The questions I got about this issue is actually very similar to a question I get regularly– “how can I act with civility and decency toward a person or group who has such bad beliefs, or has done such bad things?”
To that, I explored a concept in my book that I call “unbundling” people. This is a mental framework that helps us see the part of someone — the part we dislike about them, the idea they hold we disagree with, or the mistake they’ve made— in light of the whole: the irreducible dignity and worth of the human person.
Many books in the pluralism and heterodox space claim that all ideas are equal, and should be given equal space in the marketplace of ideas. And that we should just let the best ones win! But that’s not my argument. I don’t believe all ideas are equal. Some ideas — such as those that degrade the personhood and dignity of other human beings — should not be given equal footing to good ideas.
But, I do believe all *people* have been created equal. And that even people who have ideas with which we disagree— deserve a bare minimum of respect, which is what civility requires.
Another provocative question I got at the conversation the following evening at an event with the Institute for Economic Affairs, held in an historic building beside the magnificent Westminster Abbey, was about when departure from politeness *or* civility is justified. What about the Third Reich, or the former Soviet Union— regimes where any civil disobedience was snuffed out immediately?
I enjoyed being given the chance to share the stories of heroes of civil disobedience featured in my book — Gandhi, Dr King, and others. They knew that means mattered, and how they treated their opponents en route to their noble objectives was as essential as their objectives themselves. They couldn’t succumb to the logic of the famous aphorism attributed to Stalin (and many other dictators who insufficiently appreciated the innate dignity of the human person): “You cannot make an omelette without breaking eggs.”
I also appreciated having the chance to clarify that I am not a pacifist. I do believe there is a time and a place for action, and am influenced by the long standing just war theory developed by St. Augustine and added to by others across the millennia.
I’m grateful to Casey Given of Young Voices, who flew across the pond from NY to join us in London to host a beautiful evening dinner conversation on the Soul of Civility, and support the London book launch last week. It was also a wonderful way to celebrate my birthday on the 15th!
The final event of the week was hosted by The Academy of Ideas— and I’m thankful to Alastair Donald and Baroness Claire Fox (who was also at Monday’s House of Lords dialogue) for putting on the robust and spirited conversation.
The style of the event is called Living Freedom, and it was unlike the hundreds of book talks I’ve given before! It was more of an intellectual sparring session, where I offered a few ideas from the book, some other panelists who had read it responded, and then the audience joined in with their questions, too. I definitely felt like I was on the hot seat, and got questions about how a topic as ill defined as civility could possibly be a remedy for our societal ills today.
I reminded the audience that my book is not a political one. It’s a hand book for individuals to live out their duty of citizenship and realize the good life in community with others.
It was among the more spirited conversations, I will say, but I enjoyed it nonetheless.
We’re heading to Paris on Monday, and then on to Belgium the 27th.
Below are the Paris events this week. Please share with anyone you think may be interested in joining us
Tuesday April 23rd, 7:45 pm
Fondation des États-Unis, Grand Salon,
15 Boulevard Jourdan 75014 Paris
Wednesday April 24th, 7 pm
Event hosted by The Tocqueville Foundation and Marymount International School, 7pm
Thursday April 25th, 7pm
Rotary Clubs of Paris
Friday April 26th, 9am
French Parliament
Upcoming book tour events in California:
May 10 Newport
Young Voices Meet + Greet feat. Alexandra Hudson · Luma
May 11 Los Angeles
The Soul of Civility: A Book Release Party · Luma
May 14 Stanford:
May 15, SF (private event, Invite only)
We’d love to have you join us!
If you have ideas where our book tour should go next, let us know!
It’s exciting to be part of the civic renaissance conversations around civility that are happening across America and around the globe
A special thank you to you — for being part of our civic renaissance community!
Gratefully yours,
Alexandra Hudson
I heard your talk at last year’s Braver Angels conference. I’m a South Carolina state coordinator for BA. We currently have a book club focused on reading books or articles around better conversations across the political and social divide as well as a state-wide member Zoom meeting once monthly. Perhaps in the fall, we could invite you to speak and take questions on one of them. Good luck on your tour! Your book is on my reading list.
Happy belated birthday. :).