"We were chastised, reprimanded, barred, pushed out and silenced. I was often criticized for being too assertive or disagreeable by male authority figures in my life. When I spoke with passion, I was dismissed as being “hysterical.” When my view differed from others, I was deemed “disagreeable.”
I still am.
I don’t fit many people’s dominant cultural expectation of how a woman should act, and I am often reprimanded for it. I’m told I’m too confident, too forthright, and that I ask too much."
You used passive voice throughout that passage. Politeness motivates writers to use passive voice. Civility motivates critical writers to use active voice:
"Domineering folks chastised, reprimanded, barred, pushed out and silenced me. Male authority figures in my life often criticized me for being too assertive or disagreeable. When I spoke with passion, they dismissed me as being “hysterical.” Others deemed me “disagreeable” when my view differed from theirs
I still am.
I don’t fit many people’s dominant cultural expectation of how a woman should act, and they often reprimanded me for it. Many folks tell me that I’m too confident, too forthright, and that I ask too much."
Be well.
Thank you for this essay and for being in my on-line life
Regarding the civility-politeness dichotomy, I really think it depends on who are you. To some people, "being straightforward" is actually a sign of indiscretion and emotional incontinence. Excreting your thoughts on other people—however honest those thoughts are—is very impolite, in my opinion. Another awesome article, thank you Lexi!
Hi Alexandra
You wrote:
"We were chastised, reprimanded, barred, pushed out and silenced. I was often criticized for being too assertive or disagreeable by male authority figures in my life. When I spoke with passion, I was dismissed as being “hysterical.” When my view differed from others, I was deemed “disagreeable.”
I still am.
I don’t fit many people’s dominant cultural expectation of how a woman should act, and I am often reprimanded for it. I’m told I’m too confident, too forthright, and that I ask too much."
You used passive voice throughout that passage. Politeness motivates writers to use passive voice. Civility motivates critical writers to use active voice:
"Domineering folks chastised, reprimanded, barred, pushed out and silenced me. Male authority figures in my life often criticized me for being too assertive or disagreeable. When I spoke with passion, they dismissed me as being “hysterical.” Others deemed me “disagreeable” when my view differed from theirs
I still am.
I don’t fit many people’s dominant cultural expectation of how a woman should act, and they often reprimanded me for it. Many folks tell me that I’m too confident, too forthright, and that I ask too much."
Be well.
Thank you for this essay and for being in my on-line life
Regarding the civility-politeness dichotomy, I really think it depends on who are you. To some people, "being straightforward" is actually a sign of indiscretion and emotional incontinence. Excreting your thoughts on other people—however honest those thoughts are—is very impolite, in my opinion. Another awesome article, thank you Lexi!