"Back into the day"
On growth, gratitude, and the wisdom of looking back before looking ahread
Gracious reader,
As I cultivate my green thumb this summer, I’ve been reading a charming gardening book by Jerry Baker, a man who calls himself “America’s Master Gardener.” Throughout, he shares folksy wisdom and practical tips passed down from his Grandma Putt—a woman whose no-nonsense approach to life and horticulture is both grounding and surprisingly profound. One piece of advice stopped me in my tracks with its quiet brilliance.
“When you start a new garden project,” Grandma Putt used to say, “back into it.”
In other words: before rushing forward into something new, immerse yourself in what you’ve already accomplished. Feel the soil under your feet. Notice what has bloomed. Let the beauty of what’s working orient you before you begin again. This, she insisted, was the wisest and most sustainable way to grow—not just a garden, but a life.
Overachievement: a low-grade fever of the soul
If I don’t begin the day in stillness—grounding myself the moment I wake and truly appreciating where I am and how far I’ve come—the day quickly spirals into compulsive problem-solving and frantic doing. The demands rush in, loud and insistent, always seeming more urgent than presence or reflection. When I skip that early pause—no breath, no quiet on the page, no prayer—it’s like opening Pandora’s box. I become reactive and obsessive, trapped in a relentless cycle of fixing what feels broken. It’s exhausting, and I lose myself before the day has even begun.
I’m constantly overwhelmed by all that could be done, all that should be done, all that I haven’t done yet. My inner voice rarely celebrates how far I’ve come; it fixates instead on how far I have to go. The result is a chronic sense of failure, even in seasons of growth or accomplishment. The demands of “doing more” are the thieves of presence, joy, and perspective.
My sense of failure is often crippling—an overwhelming fog that clouds any sense of direction or purpose. I look at the slow pace of my progress and wonder if it’s progress at all, or just motion without meaning. When everything feels urgent and yet nothing feels impactful, it’s hard to know where to turn, let alone how to begin again.
The Slow Wisdom That Heals Burnout
“Backing into” life is an antidote because it interrupts the spiral of scarcity and self-judgment with evidence—evidence of what has been done, what has grown, what is already in motion. When everything feels like failure and the future feels like fog, turning around and re-entering the present through the path you’ve already walked can reorient your sense of self. It reminds you that you have been moving, even if progress felt slow.
It grounds you in reality, not the imagined abyss of “not enough.” It allows you to reinhabit your work, your story, your garden—before racing to fix or add to it. And in that pause, that remembering, the pressure eases. You don’t have to invent yourself from scratch. You can simply step back into something already becoming.
Why is this so hard?
Maybe because modern life is structured to keep us in a state of striving. Productivity culture teaches us that satisfaction is laziness, and stillness is indulgent. Even our moments of rest are often just recharging stations for more output. We don’t just fear falling behind—we fear becoming irrelevant. But there is deep wisdom in pausing to back into our days, our weeks, our projects. To remember, with gentle clarity: I have already built something. I have already grown.
This isn’t about stagnation or complacency. It’s about grounding. When we begin from a place of gratitude and awareness, we move forward with more intention, less panic. We plant more wisely, prune more judiciously, and appreciate the blooms along the way. We stop measuring our worth by what’s left undone and begin honoring the fullness of what already is.
So today, before rushing into what’s next, I’m trying to back into the day. To stand still long enough to look around and say: here is what I’ve made. Here is what I’ve learned. Here is what has grown. And only then—only after that quiet reckoning—will I ask what needs tending next.
Looking ahead:
August 28, 2025- Indiana Women's Collaborative, Indiana Chamber of Commerce
September 9, 2025- Indiana University Bloomington
The Polo Club of Boca Raton, November 3, 2025
In the news:
The Steep Price of Declining Civility- “Moral habits that promote human flourishing are virtues. Moral habits that divide us — within ourselves and between us and others — are vices.”- Thank you for mentioning my book, The Soul of Civility, in this thoughtful article!
The Bryan Hyde Show- Every single one of us can be a civilizing influence wherever we happen to be standing. Barry Brownstein reviews Alexandra Hudson's book "The Soul of Civility" and explains our personal duty to be a source of civil behavior. Any time we find ourselves a little too up-to-date on what's happening politically, it's time to take a step back and regain our perspective.
Is Silence Violence? How Yale Law School Reminded Me of the Virtue of Viewpoint Neutrality- “Viewpoint neutrality isn’t weakness — it’s a principled stand that respects disagreement and protects civil discourse.” Sharing my latest for WSB blog — interested to hear your thoughts!
The World’s Oldest Stories to Help Your Relationships! With Alexandra Hudson- Truth Changes Everything Podcast
I Love to Read: Author Alexandra Hudson to headline Zionsville Community Read event- Wishtv.com- Want to know the secret to doing politics well today? Doing politics LESS. We’ve allowed politics to take up too much of our mental consciousness, and it’s hurting society and ourselves. Join us in Zionsville at The Hussey-Mayfield Memorial Public Library on April 30th at 6:30 PM in the Lora Hussey Room to explore this and many other surprising ways to heal our divides.
Paideia, Humanitas, Civility and Education- I was honored to be invited to write this essay for The Ronald Reagan Center on Civility and Democracy. In a time often marked by division and discord, reflecting on the relationship between civility and education offers both wisdom and hope.
Thanks to Timothy Donahue of Oakland University for this thoughtful Public Books review of The Soul of Civility! He highlights a key argument: civility isn’t mere politeness—it’s essential for real social progress. Read here!
I had a great time joining Josh on the Good Morning Liberty podcast! We discussed historical lessons on civility, focusing on how John Adams and Thomas Jefferson overcame deep political divides to restore their friendship. Their story is a powerful reminder that mutual respect can heal even the deepest rifts. The episode is now live—tune in and let me know your thoughts!
It’s Time for a New Era of Christian Civility- read my latest piece for Christianity Today!
Thanks so much to MSNBC for hosting a segment about The Soul of Civility. Watch here!
A Year Ago on Civic Renaissance:
When to trust others, and when to trust your gut
Thank you for being part of our Civic Renaissance community!
"When everything feels like failure and the future feels like fog, turning around and re-entering the present through the path you’ve already walked can reorient your sense of self." Thank you - that is important advice I'll be trying to take!
I really needed to read this today. Thank you for such a lovely reminder about the deep need to ground ourselves and appreciate who we have become before stretching out further!