Against New Year’s Resolutions
A Better Path to Growth
Gracious Reader,
Merry Christmas! I hope your holiday was filled with warmth and joy alongside your loved ones.
This week, we’ll explore:
Focusing on the process: A better path toward personal development.
An article that explores the idea of teaching children not to share—and my thoughts.
Against New Year’s Resolutions
As the new year approaches, many people take this time to reflect on the past 365 days and consider how they’d like the next 365 to be different.
The new year often feels like a chance for a fresh start—a blank slate to set goals or resolutions that bring us closer to the vision of our ideal selves.
I used to be an avid New Year’s resolution maker. Here are a few resolutions I’ve set in the past:
“I was published in the Wall Street Journal twice this year. Next year, I’ll aim to be published three times.”
“Have a piece published in the New York Times.”
“Sell 20,000 books.”
More often than not, I failed to achieve these goals—and came away feeling like a failure.
Over time, I’ve learned the wisdom of abandoning traditional New Year’s resolutions and replacing them with something better: process-oriented commitments instead of outcome-oriented goals.
Let me explain.
The same year I failed to achieve my Wall Street Journal and New York Times goal, I received a national writing award. (You can read about it here.)
Was I a failure because I didn’t meet my original resolution? I don’t think so. That experience taught me that outcomes are often out of our control—but processes aren’t.
Here’s how this shift in perspective might look in practice:
Instead of “Lose 10 pounds,” commit to “Go to the gym three times a week.”
Instead of “Get organized,” commit to “Tackle one closet or room each month.”
Instead of “Live life to the fullest,” commit to “Sign up for a class you’ve been wanting to take.”
Instead of “Travel more,” commit to “Spend 30 minutes each morning dreaming and planning a trip.”
Instead of “Spend more time with family and friends,” commit to “Host or initiate one social gathering each month.”
Instead of “Learn more,” why not subscribe to Civic Renaissance—something completely within your control right now? :) (Half-joking, but also half serious!)
This year, I challenge you to focus on the process, not the outcome. Zero in on what you can control—and see where it takes you.
Now it’s your turn:
What past New Year’s resolutions have you fallen short of?
How can you convert outcome goals into process goals for 2025?
Share your process goal for this year in the comments!
And if you know someone who needs to hear this message, share this post with them!
Looking ahead:
January 23, 2025- Yale Law School
January 23, 2025- Buckley Institute Dinner Seminar at Yale
February 10, 2025, Hillsdale College
February 27, 2025- Georgia Center for Nursing Excellence
April 24- Kennesaw State University
In the news:
Let’s set politics aside this holiday season and truly connect with people—even those we disagree with! I encourage everyone to embrace 'unoffendability'—the ultimate superpower of the 21st century—and make it their own. Watch my segment on C-SPAN's Washington Journal where we dive deeper into this timely topic.
Civility, manners, and hospitality in the Odyssey- Enjoy reading my guest post for Classical Pursuits! In this post, I reflect on Emily Wilson’s groundbreaking translation of Homer's Odyssey and explore its central themes of xenia, civility, and hospitality. I also delve into how these timeless ideas resonate in our world today. Plus, don’t miss the chance to experience this on the upcoming small group tour by Classical Pursuits in Greece, where you can explore Homer’s world through a unique lens.
The Art of Manliness: Beyond Mere Politeness — The Art of True Civility
I had a great conversation on the Rod Arquette & Greg Show on @1059KNRS
about my The Washington Post op-ed on the power of not talking about politics. If you missed it, catch the full discussion here!Washington Post: Want to save your friendships? Take a page from the Founding Fathers.
Currently Reading & Loving:
I read an article about how some parents believe selfishness is something kids naturally grow out of—rather than an inherent part of the human condition. As a result, they don’t encourage their children to share or otherwise coexist peacefully with others. I think this approach sets children up for failure and loneliness in all areas of life. What do you think? Read the article here!
A Year Ago on Civic Renaissance:
How can we embody your book in our city?
Thank you for being part of our Civic Renaissance community!
Substack is a great one. You’ll see a lot of goals around engagement such as get to 10k subscribers. Rather, my intention (which isn’t for new years but one I set a while back) is two posts a week and 3 notes a day going forward. Reflecting at least monthly to ensure my output still allows for proper balance with my other priorities.
Great post as always!